All I Have to Show
by: wendy starr
Cut and sliced,
ripped and burned,
I tried so hard and that's what I earned,
People try to tell me I am just a normal kid,
But if I am normal why am I so morbid?
I don't want to die and I don't want to kill,
But I cut and burn and slice myself still,
Taking my inside pain out on my skin,
Instead of kepping it bottled up within,
For every mistake I hurt myself twice as hard,
Leaving my body bruised, broken and scarred.
Each of these marks is a lesson i've learned,
Each of these scars is a badge that i've earned.
Once again
The fog comes.
I can't see.
I am slow.
I slowly walk
talk, and watch
others do the same.
I'm tired.
Awake.
Asleep in my head.
Numbness.
Cut Cut Cut.
I hurt,
But I can feel.
Until tomorrow.
When it starts again.
Nellie
INSIDE LOOKING OUT
Here i am
i'm trapped in a little white box
with one piece of glass to view the outside world
I'm trapped in this box
No interaction with the sinner's
They tried to keep me clean
But my pain, my pleas, and my suffering went unseen
I scar myself to watch the blood flow
I bash in my brains to make the pain go
I break all my knuckles on my little white walls
Those same pure walls
which are now drowned in my own blood i have shed
I'm going crazy
but they're too blind
because they can't see
they weren't trained to feel any emotions for me
Just stay inside and you'll be fine
Somewhere someone had to draw the line
And on that line i'm on the other side
looking thru my looking glass
at the world i'll never have a part in
Because i'm on the inside looking out
and all i can do is sit there and pout-by Layna
Cold Dead Steel and Grey
by: D. Grant
Its steel.
Its sharp.
Its grey.
And I wear it from time to time.
It cuts my skin.
It makes me bleed.
It hurts.
And most of all, its killing me.
It fits too small.
Its tight all round.
It has no life.
Feasting on mine.
Its cold.
Its dead.
It numbs my soul.
Its void of all.
Its possesive.
Its me,
And my barbed-wire jacket of pain.
Inside there is confusion, outside a smooth shell
Underneath a seething pain that the surface will not tell.
Hidden is the wild cry, one that would rent a soul, freeze a heart.
Spoken is a muffled, "I'm alright", the lie becomes an art.
I leave the shallow lies and empty masks consealing,
The roar of desperation and intensity of feeling.
Somedays I burst the dam let the blood flow and leak
Try to let the feeling come forth to find the love I see
Scary
emotions overpowering the soul
no escape; no release
building, climbing, growing
can't take it anymore.
must be someway to be normal
turn up the music; blocking them
trying to forget what is happening
it doesn't work, nothing does
no escape; no release
building up so fast; out of control
Shiny, silver razor
slowly, firmly, deliberately
soft, milky white skin cracks and breaks
brilliant crimson flows out
relief, control
the world returns to normal
the only reminder is the
small, thin stinging slits
and the wet tears on my cheeks
-Chris
